Today a best friend of mine is engaged! I feel so happy for her, but then a question pops into my head. Am I the only one left alone? The sudden feeling of emptiness crept all over my heart. Its not that I don't want to have someone. Its something that I don't understand or more of I don't understand what I want, WHO I want.. It's devastating. Looking back there are lots of opportunities I could take. But there are always something that just switch them off. Then I start to pull away. Leaving them, and leaving myself wonder for the rest of my days "what if" and it seems like the history keeps on repeating without my self realising. I understand that I have to change for my own sake, And I have to understand my self better. But sometimes everything is just too hard in reality.. :(
